Doin’ the Bump in Chicago

A quick trip to the supermarket this morning became an adventure through Chicago’s annual season of “road rehabilitation.” The old joke says there are two seasons in our fair city – winter and construction, and lately, I’ve found myself longing for those jackhammerless days of winter.

Nearly a month and a half ago, the city milled the top surface of asphalt from our block and each block to the east and west, and they still haven't returned to resurface the street. Traveling these blocks can be hazardous to the well-being of your car as you cautiously tiptoe along in a effort to go over, or around, a series of raised manhole covers that used to be flush with the street surface. Included in this maze are several potholes that formed in the deep freeze of winter that were actually repaired. But when the street surface was removed, out popped the fillings, and we’re once again left with the holes.

Arriving at the supermarket, the sidewalk at the entrance is getting a facelift, so the main drive to the store is closed. A secondary entrance is available but offers yet another milled block of city street, complete with raised manhole covers and prehistoric potholes.

After finishing the shopping, I decided to try an alternate route home because the entire return trip goes past construction, and, no surprise, the alternate route is under construction too. I turned on a side street to avoid this mess and successfully cleared the construction, only to stumble upon one of Chicago’s most brilliantly conceived traffic control devices – the speed bump.

The original notion of installing speed bumps on select streets was probably a good idea, as they do slow traffic through residential neighborhoods filled with kids and dogs and little old ladies. But it’s got to the point where the speed bumps are everywhere, like some sort of twisted infestation, and using the side streets as alternatives to the busy main thoroughfares has become an up and down experience.

As the construction projects craw to finish dates unknown and more speed bumps are installed I'm left with one thought: how much for a Humvee?